A couple of weeks ago I was so full of all the things God and I discussed while I was on vacation and reading one of the best books ever, titled “Plan B” by Pete Wilson. I wrote my last blog post and said I was going to fill you in on all the things God taught me, well after writing that last blog post I sat down to record everything and guess what, my mind went blank. I can still remember the results of things God and I discussed and I still have a very close feeling of Him, most of the time, but all the details and information I was going to use just flew out of my brain. I tried reading parts of the book again, I went back over pictures from the trip, I would sit here and relive each day and still only one thing came to mind. I finally decided I had to be happy with that one thing and work with it. I will continue living my life each day and just see not only what He reveal’s to me and but also what He allow’s me to share.
First a little background. Previously I had written a post about “Who I am,” the time I’ve spent trying to figure it out and all the adjectives that have fit me over the past several years. I also have worked on the topic of rejection, I have thought of all the times I was rejected, the feelings that it creates, talking with others about rejection and how they felt and I even did a survey of several people for a paper I need to write which I chose the topic of rejection.
While we were at Coco Beach I couldn’t sleep one night. Since I was awake when it was time for the sun to come up, I decided to get up, get something to drink and go out onto the balcony. I love that time of day on the ocean, the beauty of it, as well as watching the dolphins play are just amazing to me. It was so quiet and beautiful, I kept taking pictures so I would have the memories from the beginning until the time the sun was up bright in the sky and I had to go back inside out of the sun. During all of this God and I were in a great dialog which began by me thanking Him for such a great experience. It was a wonderful conversation and the first time I experienced something so wonderful, it wasn’t a loud booming voice it was just a quiet internal conversation but during this time I felt God saying to following to me:
“You keep asking who you are and trying to find the answer. Well now that we are finally alone and you are listening I want you to know: It doesn’t matter baby girl if you are assertive or quiet and laid back. It doesn’t matter if you are shy or outgoing. It doesn’t matter if you are a business owner or a stay at home wife and mother…here is the thing, you are each of those when you need to be based on the situation and your current circumstances. What I need you to know and believe is to Me, you are My perfect child, because I made you. I love you dearly and unconditionally. As long as you hang with Me, we will get through all of this called life. Remember, just because others have left and rejected you doesn’t mean I will. They were not strong enough to deal with life because they chose not to stay with Me and follow and trust ME. Just remember you have the choice and can break the cycle!
Wow, what a choice, I know which road I want to take, I will do my best to keep fighting everyday to make myself follow/hang with Him. How about you? Any thoughts?
