Meet a Recovering Control Addict

Yesterday I was reading my morning devotional and I came across this

“Walk with Me in holy trust, responding to My initiatives rather than trying to make things fit your plans. I died to set you free, and that includes freedom from compulsive planning. When your mind spins with a multitude of thoughts, you cannot hear My voice. A mind preoccupied with planning pays homage to the idol of control. Turn from this idolatry back to Me. Listen to Me and live abundantly!” from “Jesus Calling” by: Sarah Young

That once was me and if I don’t talk with God about it often, I still become that person. I like having my days planned out. Before my health crashed in 2009 I had my daily to-do list, my weekly to-do list and my monthly to-do list. Then there was my hubby’s honey do list and my daughter’s to-do list (based on her age). Then let us plan an extended weekend or vacation when our daughter was dancing a national competition and I would have an itinerary down to the minute.

Well guess how much fun I was to have around when my business partner interrupted me, my husband was taking longer than I thought necessary to complete his items, my daughter was not working on her to-do list because she was, are you ready for this….a five year old who thought playing was much more fun than completing mom’s to-do list?

I started hearing teaching about not being able to have control that God is the one who is really in control and I really thought I was doing well on giving up control…well in some areas, but yet there were still to-do lists every place and I still was not the most relaxed person to have around.

Then I started paying more attention to God being in control and not me as my life spiraled out of control over the course of two years beginning in 2009. There was my health crash which I am still dealing with, having to close my business, financial issues and losing my mother. You name it and our family probably faced it at one time or another. The thing is during this time I was still hearing teachings on God being the one in control, not me and then this scripture came at me

“Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” —Proverbs 19:21

Ummm, yes I decided that is what I want. I want God’s purpose and control not my own.

Looking back now over the years through all my ups and downs, life is much easier when I quit trying to control my life and everyone else in it.

Sit back for a minute and imagine this for a day of your vacation (without having a panic attack for those who are still control addicts). There is no set itinerary, maybe just a short list or a few brochures of things you would like to do. You get ready to go to bed and you do not sit an alarm. You and your family just sleep until one of you wake up, then you lounge around, talk about what you may feel like doing that day. Maybe check the weather to make sure you can plan around that so you have indoor stuff to do if it is going to rain a day or two while you are there. Then you get ready and head out for your day just nice and relaxed with some direction for the day but with the attitude of we will see what God allows time for us to see and that is it.

Wow wouldn’t that be much more fun and relaxing for both you and your family instead of getting up at dawn because you have places to go and things to see and there is no time for being late or the schedule will be off and that just can’t happen because you don’t want the vacation ruined. So it is waking everyone up, even if they are still tired (which means probably grumpy at some point), it is rushing to dress, rushing to eat, rush from place to place because we want to do and see as many things as possible while we are here.

Now sit back and compare the two, which one do you think you and your family would enjoy more? What about your everyday life, where could you let some control go and just enjoy time together? It is not easy to let go of control, it is like any other addiction or habit but I promise you the improvement you will see in your life and the lives of those around you will be well worth the change.

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